Within

I heard a familiar sound this morning that woke me up and told to live.  It is a sound taken for granted yet it resounds in every ear when heads are laid to rest.   My heart... beat said Good Morning.

Great day salvation shouts from kicking off sheets from my bed and shiver at the nights whispering cold linger in my room and all and all around the house.  I’m thinking, “day, please don’t remind me of last night because today seems to have found delight in my face, the sun shines deep into my eyes reflecting the soul I had forgotten but regained in faith its resurrecting. It reflects my being beyond the image mirrored by my shadow an presents in people’s lives.  This morning, the universe has found me worthy of this breath in my lungs, the exhalation casts out the sigh of guilt and murmur that put me to bed last night.  The yearnings of resolutions, found in prayer are the morning’s theme to ululate salvation to broken and torn hearts.  This thought has a thought within itself that needs expression given when I have ceased to think.  This conversation between the two is long, I hear you, dear mind; feel bound by the spirit impoverished exchange of futile words that have fertilized all the actions that may spawn disaster upon a human’s life.  A deep pound to flush out is the leap you tell the heart to feel.  Come alive, dear mind, it is your time to do the thinking.”

That familiar sound now surges the entire, it now, resounds the call of life through and for all mankind and it starts within.  We seldom understand what “within” means when the epiphany comes from an external factor which is supposed to be a catalyst to the realization in self which makes finding the “within” the monumental venture that we all ought to be enlightened about. In saying this, I realize that the term “within” is a broad factor in the discovery of everything.  Who we are and what we are, where we are from and where we’re going, these all become relevant after what we consider is within is known.  The journey bleeds us dry in visions and efforts that are not always triumphant, we substitute doubt with persistence and we are still drained in the middle of it all, yet still, the road remains open for us all to travel.  Somewhere there, turmoil runs its path in pot holes and death defining curves but there still lies a solution within that road.  We may not see it there and then in the experience and in the midst of it all, we are quieted and that is when and how, we can hear within.

Out Within Nothingness

Written words at times take away the meaning of things we want to say.

7 deadly sins by Lakai Saadiq

Lakai Saadiq

• ~7 deadly sins~
  
  Darkness frustrates enlightened kinds,
  who find the world untamed in peacefull
  poetry...
  
  A shit whole were we sometimes digest our insane selelaqies.
  Our insensitivities,
  And how we decide to scramble our Celabesy.
  But,
  Lets get down to the basics, find the source of the matrix, we bound to be athiest ever since god turned racist.
  
  See, evil thoughts, lies, under stood figured speeches of sin city.
  For, God has remained whiter than jesus in the books of rely genes, i shall love the way i hate the heavens.
  
  For, I was once an angel in this sky and she was an angel within lies.
  Here mame, Medusa,
  With a proud look of hatred towards mortal man and a heart that devises with plots.
  I found myself opening her pandoras box.
  
  As she stairs into my eyes tearing apart the current state of poetry, freezing my body to stone as if i was combing my mind for my thoughts to lock, hands glasped together to better our gluttony, drunked of the wine. We travelled through eternity in a blink of an eye. Her decieteful tounge composing ingredients for my food of thought... But my hands have been tied to the back of yesterday.
  
  Seven sins cannot change the facts of our existence in seven days.
  
  I found us counting to 7...
  
  That 1. Night stand with the girl i lusted for, became the last i ever thought of when you had, 2. Condoms i could trust without a choice, perharps greed would let me have a 3. Sum or lovers plus in this vanity.
  Bt what does it meta 4, because anger management was controlled by myself when i sloth wrath out of food with a cup of 5. Roses. So I've envied love, for it has exposed a quarter of 6. Million was to die under management of this 7. Deadly sins.

Beautiful

We are what we are because of who we are, who and what we will be lies dormant in the words and actions that create a sense of being in all of us.  The future is moulded in those thoughts that we see as insignificant and futile to a prosperous step forward, a better life and peace in mind.

I heard words that I never thought a man could ever hear in his entire life.  These words are the kind that woman expect on a daily basis or at any moment that you are with them in a clothing store trying  on new outfits, these words are a prerequisite to waking up next to her even when she has a flu, with swollen eyes, rosy cheeks and a tomato looking nose. Woman from far and wide want to hear them, but this time around they were said to me, so I decided to look within and find what they mean to a man and mostly why they would be directed to me this time around.  All I found was a reflection.  I found that the character I have has been complemented by a number of people that I meet and spend time with, some of which have made a difference in my life and I too theirs in the same light.  I found that to some of these people I did not know that some sort of light was being emitted from and by the little effort I gave to them and what I had helped them with, for some it went as far as me just being present and being active in their space.  I probed my mind deeper and deeper the morning I heard these words, taken a back, the awe I felt was like no other emotion in amazement I had ever felt.

Speech is not speech unless it be directed to a form of communication, which begs the atonement words find when emotions seek to address spirits, which lie in all of mankind, words seek to evoke reaction from recipients and fill the well of the deliverers lips with an adequate flow.  The burrow it spawns from is from the shell of intentions needing not to be justified because of them being upright and true as they are from the hearts core, which have erupted to the surface of mouths creation, unrestricted they have torn open a few centimeters calling them lips to mould the very source of words existence.  An unusual sound delivered to my ears is reconstructed so it can be assimilated in my mind, deposit what is necessary to my conscious so I would understand these words presented to me. My nature has been introduced to an amazing aura and it is all because of what I was told I am.

At this point, I have felt everything that can be felt by these words.  It sounded like a prayer hearing them again and again in my mind; humility rose and claimed my expression before I could say anything when I was told I am beautiful.

Time

All day every day on some days, I sit and wonder. My ponder today had my conscious self convinced that time is an emotion. How it is an emotion as many would ask? Sit and really think about what I think about it all.

The last time I read something about time I felt a stir inside that I could not define. I then thought that if it is not defined it must be as great as the greatest of all emotions, love. It is all around us, in us and no matter how much you do not know about it or miss the opportunity to be with it, it still embraces you and it stays just to its cause of existence. Look inside of you and there are two things that live and will be there long after you have decided to let go. Love and time. Once again look a little bit deeper and see the relation between the two. Time exists to let love know about its maturity Love exists to let time know the virtue of its grooming capability. Time will ridicule love and make one forget what they felt at a point in life about someone, and love will do just that too to epitomize its texture even in minds that have forgotten their own names, why do you think we fall madly in Love? The relation is so monumental we will question it for ages to come. As we know them to exist hand in hand, the expression is substantiated by generations giving eulogies about how we find good love in good time.


We stare at our watches while peering over the next car in traffic, getting frustrated about being late when we took off in TIME. What you feel there and then is not frustration or bitterness towards the license department for issuing so many people with licenses; it is time reminding you that it is its own emotion. It is so mixed in its presence I too have mistaken it for patience, waiting for a situation to be altered when all I had to do was just express my appreciation for the power that weighs in with time to when it has expressed itself through knowledge that is acquired through it and for my well-being. We see it in envy, we see it in greed which all epitomize a "now" mentality, a hunger for not listening to an order ignoring the grace effect - having it all when it is due. In time, all is known and unveiled. We were all given an introduction of this emotion at birth and instead of acclimatizing to it in our growth we looked at it as a source of unleavened happiness and yet still we have the thought of eternity. Then again we could see it as a catalyst to all others we know exist.


Travel within self to know what worth is. Investigate the cause of all you feel and what you want to feel. Maximize the opportunity you have to be extraordinary and in letting others live free from judgment with you. Excel in all you do. T.I.M.E. 

Lessons From a Beggar

There is a certain kind of people we see every day but we do not pay much attention to them.  What did you do the last time you saw a beggar? Many of us feel a moving spirit inside of us, which sees us reaching to our pockets, purses or wallets to give what small change we have. A greater portion of us roll up windows and look away to the red robot that seems to be taking forever to turn green, some even toggle the radio with no cause.  Today I brought the question closer to home, what did I do this morning when I saw a beggar?

This morning when the taxi passed a place called Killarny, I saw a familiar face, a beggar that has always been at that very same spot from ever since I can remember.  The first thing that erupted in my mind was diligence, commitment and a true persevering grit, like no other I have witnessed. Why these traits, you ask.  These are just some traits that a lot of people lack in almost everything that we encounter on a day to day basis. A lot of people lack them in totality and never find them their entire lives. In saying so, many are only committed to feeding themselves or going to the bathroom to relieve themselves, their diligence is only existent because of conformity and being comfortable and the one thing that a form of grit is seen is in the natural feat of waking up every day, so we might as well as not put that in the list because they have no control over that. Now, some might be asking themselves, is the beggar not comfortable where he is, if he is at the same spot every day? To anyone who does, I will ask this of them: 'if you were on crutches and crippled where would you be?'

If you or anyone in this world wants to see a glimpse of hope, look into the beggars eyes when he has just found a meal for a day, watch him processing, calculating in his mind how he can turn this little he has into a meal, not just for a day but for the next week. At that point, portion is portion and little nonexistent. If you want to see mercy, as the beggar walks away from you, look at his callous wedged feet and ask yourself how great God is to put a sole under his feet.  While you cringe at an awful fart smell in a taxi or in a room, think and hopefully be in awe of how God masks his nose from the scent that emanates from his body and clothing from months without a drop of water to bathe. At dusk, when the city streets start clearing up, the beggar gathers up the solar charged energy within his limbs to start gathering the remains of potential substance for a winter night, that seems to be a life time to you and I deprived of sleep from a measly cough. As the common beggar does, should we not too in our minds at the clearing of the day’s events invest a thought in our faith, because that night transcends to more than just a couple of hours, it is a lifetime lived and his can end in a whim.

Being a beggar means that you have suffered seclusion, so does being a nerd or introvert.  Being a beggar means you do it all to survive, so did our parents do so that we could be what we are today, fed and educated.  Being that beggar means I find sustenance in others remains, so does it seem to me being paid for one man’s idea that you keep running in what company you work. Being that beggar speaks of and in one culture, one creed and that is survival. The hand of God is seen in the life of a beggar, which is divinity at its best.

Fairytale Live in Change

It was not so long ago I sat in class listening to my teacher going on about puberty, that it was a stage in growth that we would all go through  and that it would bring metamorphosis to our bodies.  It brought change to all in my group, I personally loved what it brought to me.

I was that kid in that everyone in school could relate to.  It went as far as being called Miss Universe because everyone that came in contact with me claimed to have had` a bit of their character brewing in my own.  I really enjoyed being the centre attraction, even with my teachers and kids from other schools.  I reckon what made me even more appealing above my character that was already of witty nature, was that I was culturally inclined and I was an athlete.

I grew exponentially to my time and my credential had far surpassed the school standards in academics, with that came boys growing fonder of me but there was only one that had my attention.  What came as a surprise to me was that he was not even a part of the chess team or a worthy opponent for the Dux scholar, come to think of it, he never did anything for the school.  He got into trouble now and then but never got suspended. In the light that we were similar in our difference, we spent a lot of time together and we eventually thought that forever had us in its creation.  That is what I knew at the time.

We would toil with chance and risk disciplinary action from our parents as we would sneak off on some nights, hand in hand we were convinced it was spontaneity instead of irresponsibility.  The thrill of being in his arms after midnight in fusion with the sweet nothings spoken, used to woe me out of my intelligence and speech.  I only managed to wonder the following morning how I got on my back to view the fullness of the moon with no restraint to head movement, braids thrown back grass touching my neck.  I wondered in numbness to what happened in the fullness of that night because on this night I wonder still with the numbness as I lay on this bed, still on my back nine months later.

It is three years later and I think of how keen I was at 6teen, I embrace a miracle now from a curse of a Five minute stupidity complex that more than a hand full of girls suffered from smooth talking growing serpents.  The vengeance I seek upon him have been are a constant reminder to my forgiveness as she is painted with his complexion and she has his eyes.  I curse genetics because apart from God I bore this baby alone.  The harsh reality can consume ones worth, which is not defined by a past.  I realise this with my own life and the possibilities that have spawned from accepting my NOW, for change to have been inspired or lived out, I had to let go.  This child is now my world.