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 I am trying to figure out what it is my heart is trying to find.  As my heart deeply meditates in the debates that go on in my mind, it strays to try finding something that I am not yet aware of

There is a void that fills it, that has it accompanied by a self-pity that sees and has no bunds.  “Who dares come into my house demanding I change who I am.  I am born of this right and I will, like a religion carry it out through all the ages I am carried in this heart.”  Self-respect  grows weaker and weaker by the infestation of sorrow that embeds itself to a suffering character, who’s credential now’ is drawn by the thought that exists as though it is immediate speech in an impromptu meet, the meaning of which is seen as reactive and nonproductive to self.  This futile horrors gloom consumes every impulse that propagates from the matter grey as thought, spits it not out but into that black hold void eliminating all hope for rescue for the inner child, who could have been the same voice that spoke as the universe stood in its awe, and said ‘LET THER BE LIGHT.’

Time is really teasing and fate is not funneling or harvesting happiness when you start seeing the colour of transparent in your life.  Bright is not bright when shades of black, grey, when in detail, should contrast circumstances to the spectrum of choice man is privileged to.  Day is not tomorrows light when today has not been dried of its possible worth.  The time, now, is joys fleeting emotion which needs to be kept alive by the embrace of each and every moment that life dines with your name at paradise table every-sec-ond.  The mind confides its expressions in the heart which sounds a monotone blue rhythm.  The esteem that liberates self seeks just a surge of positive to rearrange the tune that fabricates the very strand of life.

I heard once that our pasts make us who we are.   Is this true though?  Are we ERROR?  Are we lies and deceit?  Are we… ah man it just doesn’t matter somehow because we woke up to the people we are at this very moment.  Sadness has just refined my appreciation.